Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Be Do Have

Are you exhausted from Doing, Doing, Doing in order to Have more Stuff, when all you really want is to BE Happy?

We live in a “doing” society where our self worth and our identity are so closely tied to what we Do, what we accomplish, rather than Who we ARE as Human Beings. We’re so busy trying to out “Do” each other we miss the whole point.

We all want happiness and we’re taught in our Western world that we’ll be happy only when and after our desires are met. We’ll finally get to be happy once we get the guy, or girl, the family, the car, the degree, the house, the luxuries, the money, the stuff, the accolades. In order to get all those things, we are taught we must work really hard. As we work hard and achieve each thing on our list, we get all stressed out and begin adding more things. Just this one more thing and then I’ll finally get to be happy, we claim.

It doesn’t work that way folks! Achieving happiness, when approached from a doing and having model only ensures that the source of our happiness remains outside ourselves, always just beyond our reach. We get stuck on this never ending treadmill, moving faster and faster but not getting anywhere, not being in the moment to cherish the presence of our lives.

Stop a second and try this: take a deep breath, feel the air travel into all corners of your lungs, let it expand through your abdomen and your lower back. Take a second to feel this moment while you gently hold your breath, feel this space. Ok, you can exhale now. If you felt a moment of peace and tranquility, guess what? This is who you truly are. This is the state of happiness you are seeking. Its right there all along just beneath the surface but because of all the activity you create, you miss the simplicity of it all.

Here is an exercise to help you approach happiness from a "being" point of view:

Take a sheet of paper and draw a line right down the middle.
Label the left side: What Is Working and make a list of all that is working in your life right. NOW, brainstorm all the good things you are grateful for. Feel grateful as you write – the reliable car, the kids getting their homework in on time, a clean bill of health etc.

Then label right side: Things That Could be Better and write what you want to change or create, such as increase your income 50%. You can choose things from the first column if its working and you want it to work even better like reduced blood pressure or peace at home.

Now look over your list and choose just one thing to focus your energy on. At the bottom of the list write the words: I am Being ______________. Fill in the blank with a state of beingness that would have the attributes of what you want to create. Be aware not to choose a doing word, such as "I am being a better parent", that implies you aren’t one now and you have to Do something to become one.

As you focus on being who you want to be, you will take actions natural for a person in that state of beingness. Those actions, when done deliberately with care and attention will bring about the outcomes you desire. The actions will take less effort as they flow from your state of beingness. There is joy in doing the actions without stress and then all the things you want will manifest to you with the same joy. For example. Say "I am Being Joyful" or "I am Being Happy". Close your eyes and speak this to yourself. Feel the feeling of truly being in this state of Joy and Happiness, breathe it into your lungs and all your body. Begin each day with this mantra and focus on it throughout the day. You will notice yourself naturally doing things that create more happiness and joy. And when you do things that make you happy because you are happy, you will begin to manifest the things in your life you desire.

This is the simple key to happiness. It's that simple but it does take practice. Practice being happy. It’s a lifelong art.

No comments: